here's one: i secretly despise people who seem to want me to agree that they're cool. this has been a long-standing habit of mine. my first memory of it was when i was about 7 years old and a boy on my street did cool skateboarding tricks in front of me. "showoff" i said annoyed. some wise adult next to me replied "he should show off, that was cool!"

im not sure what it is about the company of "cool" people that puts me off, but id certainly like to get over it -- especially because im returning to ivy league art school where these types run amuck. where do they come from? is it the angst and insecurity of the early 20s? is it the nihilistic and dog-eat-dog mentality of my generation? it that they truly are cooler than me? quite possibly

but i dont think so. it feels uncool when people are standoffish and unapproachable and exclusive.

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